“The Grim Reaper kills all people on Earth. However, people recently started going to other planets, and the Reaper doesn’t have a license to go there. The first people on Mars crashed violently, but discover they can’t die.” -u/TheCrazyImitater, original post here.
I was sitting on a bed in one of the pre-fab houses. It was something that had been supposed to sustain us when we first arrived, but it was woefully unequipped for the medical extremes facing us now. I touched my chest gingerly, feeling where my ribs had all been caved in. When I tried to draw breath, I could feel the air seeping out of my tattered lungs.
I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ɪᴛ, ɪꜰ I ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.
I looked up in alarm, jumping to my feet. I hadn’t heard anyone enter the room, but there was someone here. He was tall and thin enough to appear skeletal, and he was wearing a tattered black cloak with the hood up. In one hand was a long, curved scythe, and the hand that gripped it was–oh. Apparently he was very, very skeletal.
“Oh, my God. I’m dead, aren’t I?” The words came out as a hoarse wheeze. There wasn’t enough air reaching my throat.
Nᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴʟʏ ɴᴏᴛ. Yᴏᴜ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴡɪsʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ, ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴘᴏᴋɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴇsᴛ.
“But you’re the Grim Reaper, right? You’re here to kill me, or take my soul to whatever comes next or all that jazz?”
I ᴘʀᴇꜰᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ʙʏ ‘Dᴇᴀᴛʜ’, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴀɴʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ. Aᴛ ʙᴇsᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴀ ɴᴇᴀʀ-ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ.
“I nearly died? This isn’t enough to kill me?”
Nᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀʙsᴏʟᴜᴛᴇʟʏ ʙᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ. Yᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴀ ɴᴇᴀʀ-ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ I ᴀᴍ ɴᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜ.
I puzzled over that for a minute. “Can I ask why I’m not dead, then?”
Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴊᴜʀɪsᴅɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
“Jurisdiction. Seriously? You don’t kill settlers or something?”
I ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴋɪʟʟ. I ꜰᴇʀʀʏ sᴏᴜʟs. Sᴘᴇᴄɪꜰɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ, I ꜰᴇʀʀʏ sᴏᴜʟs ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀʟɪꜰᴇ.
“And you’re not–oh. Oh! Wait, no way. Seriously? No way. We’re just immortal here?”
Nᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ, sᴏ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴇsᴛ. A ɴᴇᴡ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ sᴏᴏɴ.
“Oh. Shit. Why isn’t he here already?”
Tʜᴇ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ɪᴛs ᴀꜰꜰᴀɪʀs ɪɴ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ. Tʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴀʀs ɪs sᴛɪʟʟ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ sʜᴀᴘᴇ. ᴍᴀʀs ʜᴀs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ. Iɴ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ɪ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ sᴍᴀʟʟ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴅ. ᴜɴʟɪᴋᴇ, he added, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪs ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ. Yᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ ʜɪs ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴄᴇ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ.
“And then what, we die? We just have to suffer with our wounds for a few extra hours because the universe can’t get its shit together?”
Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴘᴀɪʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴇsᴛ.
I looked down. Flaps of skin were fluttering slightly as I inhaled. I could feel what little blood was left in my face draining from it. “You’re saying I have to chance to live. If I can fix,” I waved my hand at my destroyed chest cavity, “all of this.”
Death nodded, silently.
“Why are you helping me? Isn’t it your job to reap my soul?”
Death brought a skeletal hand up and drew back his hood, revealing a small white skull polished to a bright sheen with the wear of eons. Small, blue, flame-like orbs flickered in his eye sockets, and I could swear that one of them gleamed as he looked at me.
Iᴛ ɪs ɪɴᴅᴇᴇᴅ. ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴀɴʏ ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴘ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏᴜʟ, ᴊᴏʜɴ. ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴘʀᴇꜰᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘᴘɪᴛʏ ɴᴇᴡᴄᴏᴍᴇʀ ɴᴏᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ɪᴛ ɪɴ ᴍʏ sᴛᴇᴀᴅ.
He turned, and began to leave the room. I sat, dumbstruck, as he turned his skull.
Wᴏʀᴋ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴇsᴛ, ᴊᴏʜɴ. Yᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ sᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀs, ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ. ʙᴇsᴛ ᴏꜰ ʟᴜᴄᴋ.
And like that, he was gone.
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