“You rub the magic lamp and the genie is nothing like the stories. It is a weary old man and instead of 3 wishes, you get 2 doors. One leading to everything you want and the other leading to what you really need.” -u/TA_Account_12, original post here.
Will sat at the bar, drink in hand, and sipped at it casually while he waited on Harv to decide.
“One is Want, and the other is Need?”
Harv was leaning against the counter, looking at the cards that had been laid out on the bar top. Two beaten up, worn tarot cards with an image of a door on the back of them. They were both curled, as if they had been used in innumerable games of three-card monte, or had seen extensive use telling fortunes. They were both worn down enough that the image had started to fade, the corners marked by creases and specks of dirt.
Will nodded as he drank, then let out a loud belch. He thumped his fist on his chest, then reached up to scratch his beard a bit. It was a course, ginger mess that completely encircled his mouth, his mustache twitching when he spoke.
“One is Want, the other is Need. Pretty sure that that one there is Want—” he pointed at the card on the left, “but shit if I know. Sometimes I lose track.” He picked up the cards and swapped them around a few times before laying them back out. “There, now I definitely don’t know. Whadda ya think?”
“Well, that’s kinda shitty. Where’s the choice? It’s not a wish at all, it’s just chance.”
“You think you get a choice? Ain’t nobody get a choice, Harv, not really. As far as the universe is concerned, you already picked one, and that’s that.”
“That’s depressingly deterministic.”
Will shrugged, and took another sip of his drink. When he’d drained it entirely, he reached over the counter to pour himself another. “That’s life. Once you’ve seen the cosmos, really gotten out there and seen what makes everything up, you stop worrying so much about the point of it all. Sit back, choose a card, have a beer.” He poured another glass and slid it over to the younger man, who accepted it reluctantly.
“I’d prefer something fruity, with a little umbrella sticking out of it.”
“Sucks, you get beer.”
Harv sipped, and only grimaced a little bit. “Well, since the choice isn’t really there, can you tell me what’s behind each door? Or card, as it were.”
The Djinn shrugged. “Don’t see why not. Want is X. The Forest. You’ll appease your boss, fulfill your goals, and defeat your enemies. Need is VI. Man. You’ll connect with the humans, fail in your goals, and be defeated and cast into exile.”
“That’s what I need? That’s terrible, why would I ever choose that?”
The Djinn’s eye twinkled. “Why do you think I mixed up the cards? Take my word for it, Harv, you absolutely do need it. You won’t understand why until later.”
Harv glared back at him, and he let out a loud guffaw in response before tipping back the rest of his glass. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand and let out a sigh, his laughter dying out.
“What if I don’t want to choose one?”
“Then don’t choose one,” he shrugged, “makes no difference to me. I’m not burning a proper Wish on this anyway.”
“Well then, how about—” Harv reached forward, and pushed the cards over to sit in front of the Djinn. “You choose.”
Will furrowed his brow. “Sorry, what? That’s not how this works.”
“Sure it is. Forest is Want, Man is Need. If you choose the Forest, I’ll buy you a beer. That’s something you want, right?”
“And Need?”
Now it was Harv’s turn to sip his beer and smirk. “I’ll send your lamp into orbit. Orbit around Jupiter, mind you.” He tipped back his beer, swallowing it as quickly as he could. When he set the glass down, Will was just staring at him, mouth slightly agape.
“You don’t have the power to do something like that.”
“I absolutely do. You know as well as I do that I can’t lie about that.”
Will’s hand was shaking. He suddenly and deeply regretted mixing up the cards. His hand hovered over one, then the other, unable to commit. He pounded it down as a fist on the bar top.
“Shit, Harv, you can’t just do that to me. This is cruel, even for you.”
Harv shrugged. “If it helps, it’ll be a nice beer. No price limit.”
Will shook his head again, laughing to keep himself from crying. “You know what you’re offering me, right? If you send the damn lamp away?”
“I’m aware. Are you choosing or not?”
Will went to take a sip from his glass, but it was empty. He set it down, licking his lips nervously, and very carefully flipped over a card.
VI. Man
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